


Cole Dust

by Lizbetty



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angels, Winchester Sister
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-14
Updated: 2017-06-14
Packaged: 2018-11-14 04:34:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 6,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11200536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lizbetty/pseuds/Lizbetty
Summary: Colette "Cole" Winchester has the kind of life that would send anyone howling to the nuthouse.At first, Cole felt like she wasn't much of a help to her brothers, or to anyone. She was brilliant but it wasn't until her father went missing that she and everyone else realized her full potential.Even so, she felt like there was something wrong with her existence like she was missing an important part of her purpose.Cole was determined to fill that missing space. Unfortunately, this puts her dangerously close to falling down the same pain-filled path as her family.Is Cole bound for some sort of prophetic destiny? Or is she only meant for hell as history would suggest?~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Updates may be irregular at times.





	1. 1

Once upon a time, there was a man, a loving father, and husband. This man was happy, he had the house, the girl, two healthy sons. He had the apple pie life that everyone dreams of. However, this apple pie would not be preserved for long.  
One fateful night in Kansas, an evil force set the man's life on fire, quite literally, killing his wife and leaving behind a fate of pain and heartbreak for the man's children.

The "man's" name is John Winchester, and he is my father. My name is Colette Winchester "Cole." The two sons in the story are my older brothers Sam and Dean. I was born about six years after the fire in Kansas that killed Mary Winchester. My father, John, was on a case in Milwaukee, a simple ghost haunting that led to my conception. When I was two months old my "mother" contacted John and told him that if he wanted me he should come and get me otherwise I was going to be dumped on The steps of a convent. Needless to say, John came and got me.  
I grew up on the road with my brothers, Dean took good care of me and Sammy. Dad wasn't around much.  
When I was around ten-twelve years old Sammy left for college and dad took off again, Dean thought it would be best if I stayed with Uncle Bobby and went to school. I didn't complain at first, not until I realized that Dean didn't intend on staying with.  
Anyway, here I am telling you my story. I guess I should start with where it all started. When Dad went missing.


	2. 2

"I don't understand what the big deal is, Dean!" I yelled as I stomped around the house in frustration.  
"The big deal is that you could have been killed!" Dean yelled as he followed me into the next room.   
"You do it all the time Dean! It was just a ghost! One ghost!" Dean looked at me like I was an idiot.  
"Yeah, and look what that one ghost did to you!" He pointed out the scrapes and bruised eye.  
I had just entered High School (I skipped 8th grade. . . and 9th) and caught wind of the school's designated ghost story. It was no big deal, every school has one, until I started suspecting that the ghost wasn't just a story. I got banged up pretty good but hey, I did smoke its ass.  
"How do you expect me to be a hunter if you never let me hunt anything!?"  
"I don't because you're not going to be a hunter! You're going to be a normal person, with a normal life!" Now it was my turn to look at him like he was stupid.  
"How do you expect me to live a normal life when I know what's out there, Dean! Bobby!" I don't know what compelled me to look for Bobby for help, I knew he wouldn't throw me a life line in this situation if I begged for it. After being called out Bobby looked like a floundering fish out of water, just then Dean's phone rang and Bobby was saved by the bell.


	3. 3

After the phone call ended Dean took off for a case. Some voodoo gig in New Orleans. Figures.   
"So what, you're just gonna leave again!?" I yelled as he was checking the trunk of the Impala. He looked up at me for just a second before turning back to the salt and holy water.  
"You know the drill, Cole. Duty calls." All I could do was scoff. I could feel the heat racing through my veins, stinging tears threatened to fall from my eyes.  
"Yeah Dean, because God knows that the family business comes before your sister!" I yelled and ran inside the house. I didn't stop until I was in my room.  
I paced the room once, then when my breathing slowed I walked to my window. I pulled back the pale curtains to see Dean driving off. Bobby watched the car go down the driveway before turning back to the house. I sat at the window for what felt like, about, an hour.  
Eventually, I went downstairs to make dinner. Me and Bobby had pasta and corn on the cob. Bobby had a beer with his meal and I had a Coke. We ate in front of the TV in silence. After dinner, I went to bed early because I had school in the morning, and I felt totally drained.  
I felt awful about yelling at Dean. With being a hunter comes the risk that any job could be your last. The fear that those could have been the last words I ever said to him kept me awake all night.


	4. 4

Two days passed and on the third day, I heard Bobby talking on the phone. I knew it was Dean. I ran upstairs and into the room right above Bobby's 'office', and leaned my ear against the floor vent. Sound travels through the vents in this house. I could hear Bobby as good as if he were standing right next to me, well, maybe not that close.  
"Look, Dean, I'm sure your old man will turn up. He's gotta come up for air some time... All right I'll make a few calls... No, I'm not gonna tell her! Lord knows that girls got enough on her plate as it is... What do you mean 'what do I mean'? I mean that Cole is not exactly having the time of her life here, Dean. The kid going through some stuff... Yeah OK, just be safe, ya idjit."  
With the end of the phone call began my heart attack.  
My blood felt like it was flowing much slower like it was turning to stone in my veins despite my racing heart. Dad was missing and I knew that meant Dean was going after him. I knew he had to find him, I just prayed that he wouldn't try to do it alone.


	5. 5

Days had passed and I still hadn't heard from Dean, but this was normal so I didn't let it worry me too much. I went about my days at school. I didn't bother making friends. I knew that one day I would leave with Dean and become a full-fledged hunter. That and the fact that I was a total weirdo and nobody really wanted to hang out with the girl who carried around a butterfly knife and spent her lunch hour researching strange deaths.  
It really didn't bother me though, Like I said I planned to leave soon. I worked really hard to skip grades and get to where I could graduate early because I knew that Dean would never let me hunt until I was finished with school. If Sammy and Dean ever agreed on anything it was that I was going to graduate High School.   
Anyway, I soon learned that Dean had somehow gotten Sam to help find Dad, and as the days turned into weeks it became evident that Dad didn't want to be found. The boys were on a wild goose chase of cases that Dad sent them on.   
At this point, I am going to skip ahead in the story because the whole time my brothers were trying to find our father, I was stuck in math class. And let's face it, learning how to graph parabolas does not make an interesting story.


	6. 6

One morning, about a year after Dad first went missing, I heard Bobby talking to my brother on the phone.   
"Yeah, I'll make sure she's out the house before ya get here," Bobby said. I knew that something was going on and I definitely was not going to miss it because my brothers were worried about me. I was a part of this family too. A few minutes after the call ended I heard Bobby call my name. I ran downstairs, already planning how I was going to go about my little, 'con'.  
"Hey, I need ya to run down to Ray's and pick up that motor we talked about." He said, handing me a wad of cash, telling me it should cover any expenses. I distorted my face and let out a sigh.   
"Ray's is on the other end of town. And he never shuts up about that ugly Pinto in his yard, it'll take all day for me to get there and back."   
"Then ya better start walking." Was all he said. I sighed and grabbed my jacket. Once I was out the door, and sure Bobby wasn't watching me, I snuck around back. I watched Bobby through the windows and once I was sure it was clear I snuck back into the house.   
I inched my way across the house until I reached my 'hidey hole' across from Bobby's 'office'. I knew that this was the place to be if I wanted to know what was going on.   
I wouldn't be able to see everything, but I would be able to hear everything without being seen. And that was what mattered.

When the boys got to Bobby's there was a whole lot of talk about Dad and a demon named Meg. Then they pulled out some books and talked about something called 'The Key Of Solomon'. I should mention at this point that I still didn't know the details of our father's disappearance.

I caught on to their plan to trap the demon and get it to tell them where Dad was. I still didn't know what I was going to do or say when the time came for the boys to go get Dad, but I knew that I wouldn't let them leave without me.   
As I was thinking out my plan Bobby mentioned that the boys had stepped in some 'serious crap'.  
"More and more demons are walking among us. A lot more." Bobby said in a hushed tone.   
"Do you know why?" Sam asked.  
"No, but I know its something big. Storms a comin'. And you boys, an' yer Daddy, you're smack in the middle of it."  
There was a moment of silence before Rupsfelt started barking like crazy. When his whines died out there was a moment of silence that was cut short when a small blonde came bursting through the door. She looked as equally proud of herself as she did pissed. Suddenly Dean when flying and I heard a crash. The demon asked about the colt (which I knew enough about to know that she couldn't have it.)   
"You know, with everything I've heard about you Winchesters I've gotta say, I'm a little underwhelmed. First Johnny tries to pawn off a fake gun, and then he leaves the real gun with you two chuckleheads." Haha yeah, Blondie, they're the chuckleheads, your the one who didn't see my brother get up and round the corner behind you while you were ranting. "I mean, did you really think I wouldn't find you?" Blondie said with a little too much confidence if you ask me.

"Actually, we were counting on it." I hear Dean say in his gruff voice. And Blondie looked up to see a big trap above her head. "Gotcha."


	7. 7

The next hour was filled with the boys and Bobby tying the bi*** up and questioning her about our dad. Bobby had to explain to the idjits that the demon was literally a wolf in sheep's clothing. There was a real girl in that body and the demon was just using her as a meat suit. Dean said something about that being a good thing and thus proceeded an other hour of them rummaging around through some books. I really wasn't paying attention like I should have been. I was getting pretty uncomfortable and to be honest there was something digging into my butt.

Eventually, however, they found what they were looking for.   
"You gonna read me a story?" The demon asked in a sweet voice.  
"Something like that. Hit it Sam." Deans voice was cryptic and ruff. I knew that voice, it was the voice he used when he was pissed off beyond repair.  
Sammy started reading Latin from an old book and the Blonde looked up at my brother with an expression of disbelief. "An exorcism, are you serious?"  
"Oh, we're going for it baby, head spinning, projectile vomiting, the whole nine yards." Eventually, the fear of going back to hell must have gotten to her because she fessed up pretty quick. She said Dad was being held in a building in Jefferson.   
Dean must have been enjoying it because he wanted Sam to 'finish it'. That is until Bobby explained that the demon was the only thing keeping that girls body together. But . . . I do not understand how it could even be a question as to whether or not to continue. You can't just leave the poor girl trapped in her own body!  
Dean seemed to understand that too because he had Sam finish the exorcism.

The demon thrashed around before exiting the body, and the girl went limp. All I could do was stare at her body. Blood was pouring out of her mouth and I assumed she was dead, but I assumed wrong. She started moving and gasping for air.  
"She's still alive." Dean rushed to her and began shouting demands for an ambulance and water. They helped her out of the chair and onto the floor.

I had never seen someone die before.

I slowly came out of the hiding spot as she whispered about having been trapped in her body for a year. The boys were too busy to notice me hiding in the doorway.

"Was she telling the truth about our dad?" Sam protested Deans question, but Dean just shook it off. "We need to know."  
The girl gasped out a yes."It wants you to know - that. They- want you to come for him"  
"If Dads still alive none of that matters." As Dean said that Bobby came in the room with water and blankets. He didn't notice me either.

"Where is the demon we're looking for?" Sam questioned her in a gentle voice.  
"Not there. Other ones - awful ones."  
"Where are they keeping our dad?" Dean was a little less gentle with his questions.  
"The - the rive-r. Su-Sunrise."  
"Sunrise? What does that mean?" Dean pressed urgently, but she didn't answer. "What does that mean?"

She was gone.

Sam looked up at Dean and must have caught me in the corner of his eye. He just looked at me, standing there in the doorway looking at the dead girl in the room. Sam clenched his jaw and looked at me with sad eyes. Dean noticed and looked back at me, as did Bobby.   
I was expecting them to be mad at me, to yell. But they didn't, they just looked at me, probably sorry that I had to see that.

Dean stood up and Sam and Bobby followed. Dean stood in front of me and the other two just looked at us. Waiting to see what we would do.

I looked at Dean, refusing to let tears spill. I had to be strong, I had to show Dean that I was strong.   
We just looked at each other for a second and I knew that he knew that I had heard it all. He looked behind me at the hiding spot and then back at me, and he just nodded and walked away.

Sam and Bobby were on either side of Dean as they walked into the next room. I followed after.  
"Eh, you better hurry up and beat it before the paramedics get here," Bobby said to Dean. Dean scrunched his brow and asked what he was gonna tell them. Bobby looked at him and said "What, you guys think you invented lying to the cops? I'll figure something out." Bobby handed Sam the book and said to take it. "Ya might need it."

"Thanks, for everything. Be careful alright." Dean looked at Bobby and Bobby replied with: "You boys go find yer dad, and when ya do tell him to come around will ya. I won't even try to shoot him this time." The boys nodded and started to leave.

"I'm coming too!" I shouted. They all turned around to look at me. My heart was racing but I continued. "This is my family too. He's my dad too." Dean just looked at me, the room was silent. He looked back at Sammy and Bobby said nothing, he looked back at me. I was expecting to have to fight with him to go, but he just nodded.  
It was one subtle nod but I caught it.  
"Alright, let's go." He said and started walking again.

We were stopped by an old junkyard outside of Jefferson. Sammy had the book Bobby gave him resting on top of the Impala and a white wax pencil in his hand. Dean and I were at the back of the vehicle. Dean was loading a gun and talking me through it.   
"Remember to always keep your finger off the trigger unless you're gonna shoot." I nodded at his instructions and he looked at me with a sense of worry and doubt before turning to pull out another gun.  
"You stay by either me or Sammy at all times you understand." I was watching his hands on the gun while he spoke."Hey, look at me." I looked up at him."You understand?" I nodded once and he seemed satisfied, he went back to the guns.   
Dean became quite. I could tell he was worried, and that made me worry.

After a few moments, Sammy looked at me and called my attention.  
"Hey," he said and motioned for me to walk around the car to him. I walked around and he put his hand on my shoulder. "He's gonna be OK, You're gonna be OK. " He must have noticed the anxiety in my eyes.

I was never angry with Sammy for leaving. Sure I missed him a lot, but I understood why he left. That's the thing with me and Sammy, we always know what the other is thinking or feeling. Like we got some voodoo mind link crap or something. I think it's because we pay closer attention to those things. That's not to say that we completely understand why one of us does the things we do.   
No, that was always something me and Dean had. Whenever I made a tough call, Dean was the one to back me up. But that's later in the story.

After Sam and I had our mini heart to heart, he walked over to the trunk. He wiped away the dirt on the lid and started writing on the slick black paint. I almost fainted, and so did Dean.  
"Dude, what are you drawin' on my car!?" Dean rushed over to investigate the crime. Sam ignored him.  
"It's called a devil's trap. Demons can't get through it or inside it."  
"So?" I could see him trying to suppress the anger. And I could understand why, but I also saw where Sam was going with this.  
"Basically turns the trunk into a lock box," Sam said as Dean tried to rub off the graffiti.  
"So, it'll protect the colt right?" The boys both looked up at me in surprise, at which point I remembered that I probably wasn't supposed to know about that. . . And that I quite possibly had just gotten Bobby into trouble.  
"Yeah," Sam said and went back to the symbols.  
Dean shook his head and when back into the conversation. "What are you talking about, we're bringing the colt with us."  
"We can't Dean, we've only got three bullets left. We can't just use them on any demon we've gotta use them on the demon." Sam argued.  
"No, we've gotta save Dad, Sam. Okay? We're gonna need all the help we can get."  
"Dean, you know how pissed Dad would be if we used all the bullets? He wouldn't want us to bring the gun."  
"I don't care, Sam!" Both of the boys were getting visibly pissed off and I knew I might have to step in soon. "I don't care what Dad wants. And since when do you care what Dad wants!?" Dean continued.  
"We want the demon! You used to want that too!" Both were shouting at this point and I was thanking God we were nowhere near people at that moment. "Hell, I mean you're the one who came and got me at school! You're the one who dragged me back into this, I'm just the one trying to finish it!"  
"Alright, that's enough!" I yelled. They both looked at me and I continued. "In case you've forgotten, we have to get Dad!" They looked away in shame and there was yet another moment of silence before Dean broke it.  
"Boy, you and Dad are a lot more alike then I thought, ya know that? Ya, both can't wait to sacrifice yourself for this thing. But ya know what? I'm gonna be the one to bury you!"  
"Stop!" I yelled once more. Then I looked at Dean. "Dean, that gun is our only leverage against those demons. Once they get it, they will kill us all. Now come on, you know that. Let's just leave the colt here, and go get Dad." I finished my little speech and Dean just rolled his eyes at me.  
" Yeah, and how do you suppose we do that?" He asked.  
I thought for a moment and realized I didn't really know, but I had to say something. "I trust us to figure something out." And that was the truth. Dean sighed and agreed to leave the colt behind.

As we were walking along the river looking for any clue as to where Dad was Dean stopped us. "Hey, hey. I think I know what Meg meant by sunrise." He nodded toward an apartment complex with a big sign reading 'Sunrise.'   
In front were a bunch of children playing and adults going about their day.  
"Son of a bitch." Dean cursed. "It's pretty smart. I mean, if these demons can possess people they can pretty much be almost anybody inside."  
"Yeah, and make it so anybody can attack us," Sam added. I thought about how in the hell we were gonna get inside without anybody or anything noticing us, and that's when it dawned on me.  
"Eh, this sucks out loud," Dean said and Sam agreed. Now's my chance.  
"What's the cities response time?" I asked. The boys looked at me with raised eyebrows. They've been doing that a lot lately. "Pull the fire alarm, get the citizens out."

"And then the city responds in, what, seven minutes?" Sam asked.

"Seven minutes exactly." Confirmed Dean.

After a few minutes and a round of rock, paper, scissors between the boys, the plan was in motion. Sam slipped into the building and pulled the alarm. Once the Fire Department arrived Dean acted like a tenant to distract a firefighter so Sam could get him and Dean two fire suits   
"Hey, w-what's happening? Is it a fire?" Dean asked one of the firemen. The fireman told him to stand back and Dean replied with, "Well I've got a Yorkie upstairs and he pees when he's nervous." What a doofus.   
Once they got the suits I ran around the other side of the building with the supplies to turn the water in the portable water tanks into holy water. Once the boys were inside I carried the stuff back around to their point of exit and hid to wait for them.   
I was armed with a flask of holy water and the exorcism, which I had written on a piece of paper.

At one point the firemen came around back to check the place and I had to run behind some dumpsters and a truck, but other than that I just waited. And prayed.

A few minutes had passed and I heard a ruckus from one of the upper floor apartments. Three figures began to descend from the fire escape.   
I recognized them as my brothers and my father. I quickly picked up the bag and ran towards them. I reached the fire escape just as Dean was helping dad down.  
"You brought your sister?" Dad asked in shock, but before anyone could answer Sam was tackled to the ground by a demon.  
The demon started to go to town on Sammy's face. Dean quickly learned Dad on me and ran to the demon kicking it in the face. It just looked at Dean and sent him flying into a car windshield.   
As the demon continued its attack Dean got up and drew out a gun, pulling the trigger. Yellow lightning flashed through the body before it hit the ground. I knew then that Dean had brought the colt despite his promise not to.  
Dean got our brother up off the ground and stared at the body for a few seconds before demanding that we had to go.

We drove in silence for a few miles until we got to an old farm house where we could hold up for a few days. Dean laid Dad down while me and Sam salted the place.   
There was a moment when all was calm, yet there was no peace. Dean talked of the lack of remorse he felt for those trapped in the bodies, under siege by a dark spirit, and how that scared him.

"It shouldn't." Dad was standing in the doorway. "You did good." He spoke words foreign to our family. He spoke of being proud of us. Of the boys. He praised me for my contribution. "Looks like you're an official hunter now, eh Cole?" I wanted so badly for those words to have come from my father, but I knew they weren't his words. I didn't say anything because I didn't want to believe it. If Dean hadn't of figured it out, . . . I don't even want to think about it.

It was like a fuzzy dream. One minute I'm looking at my dad and the next I'm flung against a wall. My vision was darkened and tunneled as I slipped in and out of consciousness. Like when you stand up too fast and fight to not pass out, barely succeeding.

As I fought for consciousness I looked to my surroundings. My brothers were pinned to the walls on either side of me. I too was pinned to a wall. My father, who's eyes were now yellow, turned to me.

"Well, doesn't this bring back memories." The demon had a wild look in his eyes, like he had the evilest plan. He turned back to Dean. "I wonder, where have I seen this before? Oh, I know!" He grinned as I felt my body move higher up the wall. My weakened body was being raised toward the ceiling.

I tried to fight the pull upward, I kicked and gasped. Frightened whines escaping from my throat. I imagine it must have looked somewhat like the scene in the poltergeist move when the mom was being dragged across her bedroom walls.

Actually, it must have looked more like the night Mary Winchester died.

I could hear Sam fighting the wall and Dean yelling furiously for the bastard to stop, but he didn't stop in tell I reached the ceiling. Incredible pain filled my abdomen as I felt a warm pool of red cover my belly. I screamed in till I felt myself fall to the cold floor.

 

When I finally woke up my head was in Deans lap in the back seat. Everyone in the car seemed to be yelling at each other.

"This demon comes first. Before you, before me, before everything." I heard Dad say. I sat up and Sammy looked at me in the rearview mirror. And said "No sir, not everything." Then continued about how we still had one bullet left to use. My head was hurting but I knew it couldn't be worse than what Dean was feeling.

I was sitting just behind Dad on the passenger side, looking at Dean when the truck hit us.

I had just enough time to hear the sound of shattered glass and warping metal. I heard myself scream. I felt the grate of the truck smash against my head and the glass shredding my face.

Then, then there was nothing.


	8. 8

I woke up to a strange whirring sound. Looking around me I found myself on the floor of a long corridor filled with a blinding white light. Immediately I picked myself up off the sterile tile and began walking.

I walked for what felt like fifteen minutes and I hadn't seen a sight of anything that was living. This place was strange and uncomforting, but I kept walking. I walked until I heard a sound and saw a figure about fifty yards in front of me.

"Hey!" I yelled as I began to walk faster. The figure turned and started walking away. "Hey, stop!" I sped up to a full sprint. The figure didn't stop. I continued to shout until finally, someone yelled back.  
"Stop." I heard a deep voice tell me. I slowed to a stop, more out of confusion than compliance. "Now walk." I did as the voice said and walked forward. I heard only my heartbeat and ragged breathing. I could see the figure more clearly as I approached it, buy it was still a shadow in spite of it being so brightly light in the corridor.  
I kept walking until I no longer could. Like I literally couldn't get any closer, I smacked into a wall. An invisible wall. I staggered back and placed my hand on my sore nose, then the strange barrier dividing me and the dark figure.

"Do not worry." I heard the voice speak. Like hell, I wasn't going to worry!  
"Where am I?" My voice was raw. "What's going on?"  
"You are dead." The voice seemed a little too calm for that last statement and I for one began to panic. "However, you will not stay that way." The voice continued. Now I was just confused. "As we speak you father is making a deal for the life of you and your brother Dean." Sh**

"What?! Wait so you're a demon? I-" I was cut off by the voice.  
"No. It would make no difference for your father to make a deal on your behalf or not. You are meant to survive." My brows were furrowed and my face was screwed up in confusion, panic, and frustration. I spun around, not wanting to face the shadow. My body was in panic but the voice continued. "You are an important piece of a larger puzzle. You have a job to do, and your ability to do that job will determine the future of not only all of mankind, but every living creature." What the hell?! Now I was pissed.  
"Well, you're just gonna have to find someone else."  
"There is no one else. Only you, Colette Winchester, can do what needs to be done."  
"And what if I don't?" I didn't know what was going on but I wasn't buying what he was selling. "Huh? What if I choose not to?"

"You don't have a choice."

 

That's when I woke up.

When I woke up the last thing I remembered was the crash. I didn't remember the white corridor, or the shadow figure, or any if what the voice had said. I didn't remember. And I wouldn't remember for a long time.


	9. 9

OK, guys, so I'm gonna have to start skipping along because I can't go through every episode, otherwise, this will be the longest ass fanfic ever. So sorry if some parts of the chapters seem a little sloppy I terms of pacing.  
♡♡♡♡

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
When I woke up my whole body was numb. I would have thought I'd be in more pain. Of course, no physical pain could have been nearly as painful as the heartache of seeing my brothers' faces when I asked where Dad was.

Dean was asleep in the chair next to my bed. He looked awful and he couldn't have been comfortable. (I later learned that no matter how much the nurses tried, neither he nor Sam would leave my bedside.) Sam was sprawled out in the chair across the room.

"Hey." My voice was far more gravelly than I was expecting. Despite my voice been a whisper, both boys shot awake. Sam dragged his chair to the other side of my hospital bed.

"Hey, you're awake," Sam spoke with clear relief and then he and Dean exchanged a look. . . Like they never expected me to wake up again.

"Where's dad?" That's when I knew. Neither of them said words, they didn't have to.

Turns out Dad made a deal. Him and the cult for me and Dean's lives. Apparently, Dean had been in a coma that he wasn't supposed to wake up from, and I was... well I was in and out of emergency surgery for days. The doctors said that I wasn't supposed to have lived as long as I did. And that I kept dying on the table.  
My head had hit the grill of the truck and bashed my brain around pretty good. My chest had been crush to the point I was bleeding into the sack around my heart. The doc said it was a 'miracle from God' that I was alive. If only he knew.

Nothing was ever really the same after that. Once I was released from the hospital we went back to Bobby's. They all fussed over me but never have I seen Dean so messed up. Aside from when Sam left.

There was a lot of arguing and a lot of me locking myself in the bathroom. I didn't want them to know that I was crying.

A few days later the boys answered a call from Dad's cell. It was from some lady he used to know. The boys said they were going to go check it out and I wanted to come with.  
Obviously, that didn't end well. Dean said no, I got mad, Bobby sat down taking a sip of whiskey and rolled his eyes. I asked Sam to back me up on this and he said:  
"I don't know Cole. Maybe Dean's right on this." Figures.

It wasn't until Helen (the lady that called Dad's cell) called about a hotel situation in Connecticut, about a month later, that the boys finally agreed to let me tag along.

The case itself isn't overly important, what is important, however, is something I overheard.

We were at this old hotel. People had been dying in strange ways over the last month and we - the boys mostly - were looking into it. Well at some point during the case I walked into the room we had checked in under and found Dean wrestling with a very wasted Sam.

They were too busy to notice that I had walked in and I didn't want to alert them to my presence. Something caught my ear and I wanted to hear the conversation, though I sometimes wish I hadn't.

"You have to watch out for me and if I ever turn into something I'm not ...you have to kill me." What?! I couldn't believe what I was hearing.  
"Sam."  
"Dean, dad told you to do it. You have to." I had never heard anything about this and I became sick to my stomach at my brother's words.  
"Yeah well, Dad's and ass! He should never have said anything. I mean you don't lay that on your kids!"  
"No, he was right to say it. Who knows what I might become. Even now everyone around me dies!" I was beginning to shake. To hear my brothers talking like this was the scariest moment of my young life. The tears were stinging my wide eyes and I desperately tried to keep the sobs in my throat from rising up.  
"Well, I'm not dying. OK? And neither are you. Now sit." Dean pushed Sam onto the bed but Sam refused to lay down.  
"No, please Dean. You're the only one who can do it. Promise me."  
"Don't ask that of me!" I couldn't handle hearing my brothers in such a helplessness. They are two of the strongest people I know and to hear them pleading with each other over death and destiny . . . My brain was reeling.  
"Dean, please. You have to promise me." There was a heavy moment of silence as Dean weighed his response options.  
"I promise." There's no truth to that promise, there can't be. He can't promise that! Can he? My breaking heart was pounding and with each beat, it broke a little more.  
" Thanks." Sam grabbed Dean's face. "Thank you." With that Dean pulled Sam's hands off of his face and forced him back onto the bed. Sam finally gave in and rolled over into sleep.

I stood there for a moment as Dean looked at our brother and ran a hand across his face and then through his hair.  
"Dean?" I didn't mean for my voice to come out as frightened as it did. Dean snapped his head up toward my direction. I could tell it broke his heart that I had been there to hear it. He stood up and walked towards me.  
"Come here." He opened his arms and I practically threw myself into his hug. "Sammy's ok." His voice had that tone that he always got when he was trying to convince himself just as much as anyone else. "Hey." He said, leaning back so as to make eye contact with me. "Sammy's ok." I didn't know if I believed him, but I did trust him. I always trust him.


End file.
